Matzoh–the unleavened bread that Jews consume this time of year–can be either your Moses or your Pharoah, depending on how it’s clothed. 

Stripped of its outer layers, white matzoh is a demon, clogging up your intestines with starch that doesn’t budge.

But when it’s dressed in its dark, multi-layered overcoat, or bran, whole grain matzoh can deliver you from one of the world’s greatest evils–constipation.   That’s because bran provides a type of fiber that bulks up your stool and helps sweep out your pipes.

“It’s my savior,” cried a loved one who has suffered from evil for years. Now s/he’s going twice daily.

Considering that industrial milling goes back to the 1800s, those characters in the Bible were likely equally blessed.